The Mystery of Parenthood

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I’m currently stuck on the couch, literally, because both J + L wanted to continue nap time on mommy.  ❤ Almost four weeks in of this life with two babies under two, and I finally feel like I’m starting to get some kind of method down.

Today is my first full day alone with the babes. And my goal upon waking and Jon leaving for work was to remember to think a step ahead, so for me that meant preparation—prepping for bottle feeding times that ended up taking place simultaneously, prepping lunch so that it could be easily cooked/baked (I ate!! 🙌🏽), prepping all the diaper changing necessities so one change can easily happen after another or so.

However, sometimes crap hits the fan — inconvenience sets in and unforeseen circumstances occur, like for instance: the fire alarm going off this morning after breakfast and you’re alone with both babies on the 13th floor and have to take the stairs down, oh, and you’re four weeks postpartum. Thank God for kind neighbors, and for no serious accidents.)

There were moments today when preparation proved a difference. And then there were moments when I had to stop and think on the spot of what the heck to do, then do it (with so little energy and a whole lot of grace and mental power). And then there are sweet moments (like the one I’m experiencing right now) when you’re reminded of the privilege it is to have tiny souls entrusted to your care.

Parenthood is a mystery. It’s filled with joy, laughter, anxiety, frustration, anger, victory, defeat, impatience, peace, suffering, and joy & peace again. Sometimes you feel empowered and sometimes you feel powerless. It’s such an interestingly phenomenal thing. I’m amazed by my babies and what they’re capable of now and what they will be capable of, and I’m amazed at the strength, patience and willpower I have to keep going, which are things I usually second guess, too. God is so good and finds ways in which I can’t see that renew me and keep me going, determined to do my best and give all I’ve got. Shout out to all the parents out there reading this. You are amazing, whether you know/feel it or not.

By Fatima

wife + mom. sustainability strategist, interior designer, writer. sharing faith and our growing domestic church. creating a slow, sustainable, low waste home.

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