I have a history of lacking full trust in God. My obscure and worldly mindset would suppress the real trust my heart shouts for as questions surface one after the other. “Why this road?” or “How about that one instead?” are common questions the flesh would ask the soul time and time again. I have trust issues. Like Abraham, I trust God but still somehow manage to squeeze my way just to make sure. It’s as if I’m saying to my omnipotent Father, “I know you got me, but just to be extra sure I’ll do this instead.” Win-win? Not even close.
Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist. As great of a man John was, who prepared the way for our Savior, I actually wanted to write about his father, Zechariah. Zechariah was a man who had a problem with trusting God fully. When the Angel Gabriel appeared to Zechariah and delivered the good news that his wife, Elizabeth, who was advanced in years and barren, would conceive a son through the power of the Holy Spirit, he did not fully believe. Through tradition, we are told that Zechariah was a high priest, who ministered to the Temple daily. It was evident that he knew Scripture inside and out; he was aware of the promises God kept to His people. But the miraculous blessing of his old and barren wife finally conceiving a child by the power of the Holy Spirit was a reality too hard to believe.
Because of the lack of trust, Zechariah was struck dumb and unable to speak until the birth of John. It wasn’t until after John’s circumcision was Zechariah able to regain his speech. It was then that he finally and wholeheartedly believed in God’s miraculous gift. It took him nine long months to deeply reflect on everything. At first, Zechariah kept a closed heart to God’s blessing because it all seemed so impossible. But when he witnessed the birth of his son, his heart embraced renewed faith in God’s Providence. He finally believed with all his heart, soul, and mind. How do we know? Through his canticle (pictured above). He was filled with the Spirit. Zechariah was a changed man forever and learned to believe fully.
I particularly love this story because I can relate so well with Zechariah as far as not fully trusting and believing. In spite of the trust issues I may have up until now, I am still aware that God will always have His way in my life in the end. Thankfully through humbling experiences where God lovingly reminds me of His better, more beautiful plans, the mindset of the world diminishes and I realize once again where I need to be and what I need to do in accordance to those plans. This has been an ongoing pattern in my life especially when dealing with the challenging issues. But I am hopeful that through prayer, I may continue to work on trusting fully and consistently no matter what kind of circumstance God places me in. Nothing’s stopping God from striking me dumb. [God has the power to do whatever He wants to me to make me understand; it doesn’t have to be in that literal sense either.] I can only pray that whenever God decides to give me a blessing so great, especially when it’s a blessing in disguise, I could live out my amen and always remember to trust fully even if I don’t understand fully.