Within the last 24 hours James has been teetering between the temperature of 102 and 99 degrees. For any parent, it’s a tough sight to see your child in discomfort and exhaustion – all you want is for them to feel better and normal again – full of life, energy, and joy. My little guy has been extra clingy since we discovered that he was feeling under the weather. He doesn’t want me to leave his side. When we wants to be carried, he’ll put his arms around my neck and embrace me, not wanting to let go. Even when I step away he’ll recognize it and cry for me to come near again. My presence can simply provide him with the comfort he knows he can receive from me.
I didn’t experience much of a person needing me wholly until I was married and furthermore until I had become a parent. My husband needs me to walk alongside him on our earthly pilgrimage and vice versa. And with my children, they are just about dependent on us in every aspect. That being said, there is some kind of ironic satisfaction I find in wanting to be needed and I think that is because it ultimately reminds me of my greatest need for God.
Whenever I am in discomfort, uncertainty or sorrow, there is a great consolation I experience when I am able to come to the great Sacraments of Love – Reconciliation and the Eucharist. Coming face to face with Christ in those sacraments heal me and accompany me in becoming once more the person that God is calling me to be. Just like James needing me when he’s not feeling well and finding ways to mend his physical sickness, I, too need God to heal me from my own spiritual sickness. I need God to give me the comfort only He can give. I need His presence, His nearness that can reassure me that all will be well, and if not now then in His time.
Life-giving water flows so abundantly from those two Sacraments, and it is from that well of life that I need to continue drawing water from. It is from that well of life where I am healed and comforted from my personal ailments and it also where I may better fulfill my vocation as wife and mother to my husband and children, who will continue to need me. I imagine it is a tough sight for our Heavenly Father to see us in physical/spiritual/emotional/mental pain just as it is to see my children sick. But the consoling part in all of this is He loves us so much to leave it at that: He gives of Himself so freely and generously because He desires for us to experience the fullness of life again, and that can only be found in our need for Him.